5 weeks on and rocking it #exercise #diet #fibro @goodlifefitness

I am happy to say that I have successfully made it to the gyme on a Saturday morning 5 weeks in a row! So proud of myself. It has also been.... 5 weeks today that I started my new "diet" to more vegetarian, occasional seafood, reduced to no gluten, no soy, no msg, and no overdoing sugar and junk. My body rejoices with that change as well.

When it comes to the gym, I started with my problem area of my chest and trapezius area of my back. I figured if I were to strengthen those muscles, I would feel less pain. Guess what, it worked! After working up to it over the last few weeks, I started to do a full body circuit this past Saturday. Working up gradually is very important. If I were to go in all guns blazing, I would feel like hell and it would be hard to go back. So started with the "important" stations and ALWAYS the stretching station (I *heart* the stretching station). I have never been the althetic type but my body reacts very well to exercise (must be the fibro).  What is even better is that after the gym, I find myself over at the market to get a latte and fill my bags with veggies.

When I started my new veggie-filled diet, it was an experiment to see the effects. I feel better and have more energy. My IBS only flares up when I have too much of something from my not-so-good-for-me list. An unintended consequence is losing about 5lbs, making some of my clothes fit awkwardly now. I think part of this loss and effect on my wardrobe is the fact that I am way less bloated. I plan on keeping this up. Also, this new diet is a lot cheaper and better for me than my previous healthy but misguided ways.

Of course, I saw my doc today and reported these findings to her (well, to her student doc who passed on the info). It was another "keep up the good work". I had mentioned about cost about gym membership and she said that the gym membership is super important, even compared to physio (which I got a script for today because I finally remembered to mention it in an appt) and massage. I know if I wait too long for a massage, it majorly sucks. But, in theory, the gym helps at the root of the problem: my muscles. So, I will definitely keep up with what I am doing and rocking it :)

Future and present considerations #fibro #children

Much has happened in the last few weeks, months. I was in a fantastic relationship until I realized a whole lot of small variables adding up and the impact on my health. I decided that we were better off as friends and he was completely on the same page. In this relationship, he was up front with me about not having any more children (he has two). I was completely fine with this. For some reason this thought process of children in the future has been coming up a fair amount. Up until about 6-7 years ago, I did not want to bring children into this world. Then I realized that I would because I would teach them not only how to survive, but also thrive in this world. When I verbalized that sentiment, my counsellor at the time nearly cried. It was a very moving moment. Now, I am 28 years old, young in many ways. However, I do not see my own children in my future. I see the children of friends and family whom I can teach these life lessons to. My hesitation about having kids of my own is mostly based on my health and lifestyle choices. A couple of weeks ago, I was lying in the tub, relaxing and I had an image of me in 15 years, after my pets have gone onto other worlds and being able to travel freely. I have decided that if I get another dog, it would be in the next two years. Otherwise, I would wait until after I have travelled the world enough to my satisfaction and settle down again. I look at my pets as my children. Frankly, I have days where I know I cannot do much at all and look at Jasper wishing I could do more with him. How could I survive that kind of heart break with my own kids. I do not know what direction my fibro is going to take or if I can even have kids with the suspected endometriosis. I want to be able to enjoy live and be there for those I love and care about. Now, I look at the scenario for if I have kids: I would have to have a fully supportive husband and be able to work part time for a while after maternity leave. My mom's health isn't the greatest either but I know she would help in any way possible. When looking at the possibility of having kids, it is almost like playing Russian roulette with my own body and mind. I know it would be very rewarding to have kids of my own. The question that is plaguing my mind: when is the right time to make that decision and when will the doctors acknowledge my choice and allow me to be childless and potentially be rid of certain physiological pain?  I keep saying that my body might decide for me before I make the actual decision.

When I look into the future, I do not see myself with anyone. I see myself happy and smiling. I function rather well as a single, independent woman. It is one of the things that my ex liked about me. It is one of the things I like about myself. Having someone to share stories with and enjoy time together is nice though. So I have my good friends and family. I don't see the necessity of being with someone. Sometimes when I am in a bad way health wise, I find myself thinking how it would be nice to have someone to take care of me though. My cats and dog find their own ways to make sure that I am okay and be there for me. It's nice to have that kind of unconditional love. As long as I pace myself reasonably and stay organized, I know that I can accomplish a lot on my own. Yes, I will be required to ask for help from time to time. This is where the effort in creating an effective support network. I am very thankful to have those in my life that are supportive and caring. Whatever decision I come to, I know that they will support me in that decision. Love you guys :)