Cat and the cookbook

Sleep and Food

It's amazing what lack of sleep can do to a person. I have been feeling worse and worse over the last few days.  Tummy has been getting better though since I decided to slowly take myself off the Lyrica. The lack of sleep is from running out of the 5-htp. One way to find out if something is making a difference is to stop taking it I guess. After a few more nights of taking the 5htp again, I imagine I'll feel right as rain again.

The food diary thing has been paying off. Been doing it for about a week and already made some interesting discoveries. Feeling way less bloated and there's less pain. Going to do read some more of this book "Meals that heal inflammation" by Julie Daniluk. It has been helping me make connections between feeling ill and certain foods and pills. My goal is to get my tummy back in order. Taking the acidophilus has been helping with that for sure :)

I know I am on the right track. Now to continue and not lose track of things. Ideally, I want to keep this food diary until I run out of room in my little notebook. Here's an example of what I'm doing. One side for the food, beverage and medication/supplements and the other side with how I feel and observations.

Cheers

Third person post #HAWMC

Mascot post hasn't gone up yet, it will tonight if I get a chance to get close to my scanner :)

A walk amoung beauty
It was a gorgeous Saturday out with her friend to walk the dogs at a local trail. They picked up lattes before hiking. As they got closer to their destination, the dogs winnied and whined, knowing they were close by. Soon as they arrive, the dogs anxiously got out of the car and waiting for their pet-parents. The first few meters slowly adapt you to the world away from every day life, the dogs start to get into their form and smiles are on everyone's faces. The blue and white of the sky contrast against the green and brown of the trees. The smells are natural and the breeze is pure. Every now and again, she calls out to her dog to make sure he doesn't wander off to far. Everytime he listens, her heart sings with pride. Nothing makes her happier than being proud of her puppy and being where she feels like home. Her heart feels at home outside, amoung nature and away from the hustle and bustle. Stopping occassionally to take a deep breath to let her muscles know that they are allowed to relax, she looks out onto the bubbling river and smiles. Closes her eyes to hear as well as see everything around her. This is therapy at it's best.

The D word

I sat in front of the computer screen earlier with this window open to type a post. But I was frozen with emotion and thought going through my mind. I discovered a subject that I actually did not feel to keen to post on. That subject was the big D word... you got it, Depression. I have slowly realized that eating more and other little behaviours were just that. I also finally got to the point of being so fed up with being blue and remembering over the last few months when certain thoughts came up that they would go away. The thoughts are still there. So, it just might be my medication for the fibro. I usually can get myself back out of it. But it's different this time. I am planning on starting to taper off the medication anyway due to having stomach issues. My poor insides have been having a hell of a time with medications over a long period of time. Havoc is probably the right word. I'm curious to see what comes back on the last set of blood tests. Either way, I know stuff needs to change. I am keeping a food and symptom diary now. After the tutoring session, I got myself out for a walk with Jasper instead of staying home and being blah and risk more eating.Going to dig myself back out.

Busy weekend

Ready for sleep on a Sunday night. Been a productive weekend yet relaxed enough to keep the flare at bay. Been doing a lot of reading this weekend. Found a fantastic book at Chapters on food and inflammation. It has been a fantastic read so far with loads of information. Started a food diary too :) a good weekend

Food, tea and me

As I am going through that wonderful mid-afternoon I-want-to-crawl-in-a-ball-and-sleep phase, I looked up stuff about tea. I am not feeling too well this week as it is and I went to make some tea for the afternoon and I was stumped: which do I make? which will have less of an impact on my already fragile system? So I looked up tea processing and fermentation of tea. As discovered, fermented food and beverages are a no-no for someone with a histamine-intolerance. The end result: white and green teas are safe for me. Most green teas are not oxidized (ie. fermented) and white teas are not fermented at all (http://www.enjoyingtea.com/teaprocessing1.html, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_processing, http://altmedicine.about.com/od/herbsupplementguide/a/whitetea.htm, etc). Black tea is, of course, the most fermented. Pu'erh is post-fermented, so it goes through the process twice (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3155370/?tool=pubmed). Each of these teas have their benefits of course with anti-oxidants, pu'erh is good for digestion, etc. However, that word histamine causes pause to wonder what is the best teas for me to drink. I will keep my black and pu'erh teas in my collection, but have them very sparingly. I have some fantastic green teas and some white. Then I wondered about the Rooibos. It too goes through a fermentation process similar to black tea.

When looking up studies on histamine in PubMed, I discovered that most studies were done in the mid-1990s. I have made some fantastic discoveries. I remember the time I first tried spinach and I felt absolutely gross after. Guess what! It contains a LOT of histamine. I know there are other things that are not agreeing with me, but no idea what or how to tackle the situation. So, after talking it over with mom, I finally made an appointment with my family doc and filled him in on things since I last saw him and asked for a referral to a dietician. It was nice that he wasn't rushed. He even had time to ask if there was anything else and asked about my mom. He calls us the "Bobbsey Twins"; we look very much alike and been having a hell of a time with health stuff over the last couple of years. But we keep smiling and figuring things out. He also sent me for more blood tests to check on things. I will call in a week to ask if the results are in and if I need to make an appointment to see him again. See how it goes :)

Dinner guests #HAWMC

The table was set for the six of us. Nothing fancy, just simple and ready for a group of people that are close to my heart and have been nothing but amazing in my life. To just choose five was the tough part. First one to come to mind was my Mom, of course. She has been my biggest supporter in my life and one of my best friends. I can call her anytime with any problem, big or small. She helps me figure out things in life with which I struggle. Secondly, I called upon a former boss, Carol, who has been supportive and encouraging throughout my career. She has been an amazing reference since working for her. With a laugh that carries as far as my Mom's,  I had to keep the evening good and lighthearted. Next up came a bit of a choice as to who would be the third. Two other women I strongly admire and love came to mind: my grandmothers. Grammy, although a distance away, has been very important in my life, whether she knows it or not. She has gotten me out of some situations and I know she cares. Beyond that, I cherish our conversations and wish I could see her more often. Then there's Nannie, with whom I have memories going back into childhood. Sitting at the foot of her rocking chair and helping her split peas or spin yarn. I love her with all my heart and always admire the music she makes and the look on her face when she is happily playing her violin. So that makes 4, all ladies who I look up to. That left one more space. Hard to choose, sometimes, in life. I look back on my past and consider who I have in my life at present. There is one person my heart calls out to: my dad. Although distant at times and a man of few words, what words he does speak are very important to me. I want him to see the love and laughter I have around me and to be proud of who I am today.

The table was set and the six of us sat around it. The food from the kitchen smelled delicious, prepared by yours truly with the assistance of others. Bit of a pot luck and plenty of food to go around. Many conversations ensued and laughter filled the house. Everyone was nearly in tears by the end with stitches in their sides. After supper, a wonderfully delightful choice of deserts were served with a cup of coffee or tea. We all sat in the backyard and watched the dogs and cats play. Exchanging more stories and filling the air with joy. I'm sure my neighbours heard the laughter a few blocks away. At the end, we were sad to see it come to a conclusion. Hugs were exchanged and tears were held back. I hope to have this dinner again, I said. I hope to do this again real soon. Love you all :)

#HAWMC Pick from a book

Now, on to business. Random phrase from a book

"Again, productivity comes down to an honest desire for change and to change. Once I committed to this, I started reaping the rewards - getting things done quickly and efficiently, knowing what I was going to work on when, with less anxiety and more time for myself." - Productivity for Librarians by Samantha Hines (2010)

I have not been terribly productive in getting this book read. I like the phrase that came out of this exercise. What is productivity? Anyone who has the pleasure of having to consult your health and how you are feeling before committing to something battles with this question. What productivity was before and what it is now are two different things. The worst thing to do is to compare the past to the present. Once you start doing that, the future is in jeopardy. Change is sometimes thrust upon us, rather than decided or desired. Change can be a thought process. For example, instead of going "damnit, I only got x, y, and z done today and I had a, b, and c to do as well". The thought is changed to, "yay, I got x, y, and z done today! I'll figure out when to do a, b, and c to get that done later as well". Going from negative to positive; I consider that a desirable change. I try to plan things out ahead of time. Like this weekend I was planning on doing more painting. But, my body has other ideas. Instead of being miserable about it, I am going to listen to my body and do other less strenous activities. I changed the plan to avoid more misery later. Going back to the change to positivity, I can see how that would create less anxiety simply because you end up beating yourself up a whole lot less! Instead of spending time grumbling and moaning, you get to relax with a cup of tea. I like that idea. Enjoy what you did get done, feel good about it, and relax with a cup of tea afterwards. I must remember to be more positive, more often, and consistently.

#HAWMC Thank you WEGO

I'm starting to slack off with posting for the challenge, but I will continue writing as I can. So far in the challenge, I have read some remarkable postings and found more blogs and facebook pages. It is all support, all information sharing (which I love), and it's a community. I must say thank you to WEGO for hosting this challenge. Without this, I may not have found such resources so easily.

Hardest lesson to learn #HAWMC - Day 17

There have been many lessons learned. I have talked about a couple of them in previous postings. They vary from trusting in myself and the decisions I make, learning to listen to my Mom and Dad (especially when I was younger), and so on. I think now the biggest thing is learning how not to push myself too much. I have spent many years just pushing myself through situations and life.  A few months ago, I was talking with Mom and saying how tired I was. She asked what I did the day before, I said not much. Then I went a little further back, to the weekend and listed off a laundry list of things I did. I did too much and it took a bit to catch up with me. When I look back, it is amazing that I did not burn out sooner. I remember coming back home after a crazy summer where I had gotten a job in my field that had daytime hours, however, it did not pay enough to afford cost of living. So, I continued to work my retail job. There would be days I would work all day, go home to have supper then work another 6 hours and get home shortly after midnight. At least I lived within walking distance of the two jobs. I crashed when I came home to visit at the end of the summer. A few years ago, I was working a job that kept me in this area and I was not making enough money to cover all living expenses plus student loan. So, I picked up another job. It was either I was not working enough to justify the pay cheques or working too much that it negatively impacted my health. I would say, "but I used to work nearly full time hours and go to full-time classes at university". What I realize now is how all of that did impact my health in the short and long term. I try to limit myself to one class per term now, while I am working full-time. I carefully look at my schedule before taking on additional tasks. This can be hard to do because I cannot say how I will be feeling in 15 days from now, but I can try to plan ahead to prepare myself. The phrase "loving-kindness" comes to mind with how scheduling fits into my life now. I must keep myself in mind, first and foremost, when making plans and arranging things. I got a gym membership but haven't been in over a month because of doing work on my house plus various other tasks and just needing recovery days. I do not let that bother me but I realize that may need to be re-evaluated at some point in the future. One day at a time :)

#HAWMC Writing Style

I missed yesterday's posting. Managed to take advantage of the gorgeous weather. Did a lot of walking and cleaning with some relaxing. Walking along the beach in your bare feet in April feels amazing. To simply breath in the air around you, close your eyes to hear and open your eyes to see the beauty around you. Not to mention get some good chuckles from watching the dogs play along the sand and in the water. Oddly enough, the long haired dog dried quicker than the short haired dog. Which means I went home with a dryer dog :)


I am going to double up on this entry though because I find yesterday's challenge topic interesting. My writing style is basically whatever comes to mind and through the heart. I write in a flow and with some thought. I come from a family of storytellers and am proud to say I have inherited most of this trait. Mine is more through writing though. I write as well as type. Depends on which media I feel more comfortable with at that moment in time. Doing this challenge has forced me to type more than write, although, I do still write. My writings are simply thought sketches. Here's a description of my style from my other blog:


A sketch represents an image in one's mind that is put into a visible format (i.e. by pencil on paper, paintbrush in a imaging program, etc). Thoughts can also be sketches. While a picture is worth a thousand words, a thousand words can help describe a picture, but is only a sketch of the picture. This ranting may not make sense, but its a sketch of a theory not a solid theory, not a painted portrait. Here are sketches, they are theories. Just thoughts and not the be all, end all. Some are beautiful, others are hideous. Some are well thought, others are a splatter of mindless ranting. And no matter what, they are from my own heart and mind.

Welcome to my sketch pad.


This describes my style very well.

As for today's challenge, I will pass on that as I do not have a pinterest account as of yet and working on implementing other tools before I get to that one :)

10 things #HAWMC

List of 10 things that make me smile:
1. My family - "just-because" family dinners
2. My dog and cats - their cuddles when not feeling well and knowing how to make me smile
3. Nature walks - nothing more soothing than that
4. Friends to laugh and chat with
5. A cup of tea and a bowl of popcorn to unwind with before bed
6. Nice relaxing bath with a good book
7. Photography - taking pictures outdoors and of my pets
8. Writing - such a cathartic exercise
9. Craft projects - making things for myself and others
10. Cooking and baking

This list was actually harder to write than I thought it would be.

You're a librarian #HAWMC

Just did the survey "Are you a Health Activist" on WEGOhealth (http://www.wegohealth.com/quick_quiz/?source=blog-ad) and had to laugh at the results:

You're a LIBRARIAN! That means:

• You live for the hunt, unearthing articles, clinical trial info, discussion threads, the best doctors and more, with a passion usually reserved for gold-filled shipwrecks.
• You welcome a challenge and can’t believe we ever lived without Google, Medline, Yahoo! Answers and all the other online community members who help you in your quest for information.
• You may also be: A journalist, author, health professional and Internet addict.

Little do they know that I am actually a librarian. The description is nearly perfect: I do live for the hunt and welcome a challenge. When I get a call for a reference question, I am all over it. When I get to teach people how to use the above-mentioned tools, I am very passionate and love sharing information. It's not just my job or my career, it is part of who I am. In other posts, you have seen me mention decision making a few times. I used to question my decision in becoming a librarian. I finally had enough and realized I was self-sabotaging myself and undermining myself so I stopped. I embraced my choice. In all fact, I love research and teaching and writing. The other choice would have been a professor, but an academic librarian is even better for me. Maybe one day I will fulfill my dream of becoming a professor too. What is best about both professions is that they can accommodate me and my disabilities. It is up to me to advocate for myself, which I have been doing for ages. Every university course I took involved me talking with the professor to let them know of my disabilities: that I am blind in my right eye and hard of hearing in my left ear. To accommodate my disabilities, I let them know I may record the sessions and type an incredible amount of notes to ensure I got all the information. This "advocacy" has continued in my social and professional life. I even have a hearing aid now that I use mostly in group situations. Now I have something else to add to my plate, the fibromyalgia. The question of how to approach this subject has been a serious question in mind. How does it affect insurance? How do I tell my employers? Should I tell my employers? I have always been an upfront person. Even with co-workers, I have always told the people I work with about my disabilities so they do not think I am ignoring them. Even then, I usually pay more attention to my surroundings than the majority of people. This ability to be in touch with my environment is more out of survival and necessity. Honestly, I like this advantage. With every disadvantage there is an advantage, just a matter of figuring it out. I'm a puzzle person, troubleshooter, problem solver, and very resourceful. All these, in a way, are derived from learning to live with my disabilities. I am very grateful for these skills. Back to the fibro question. I have told my current employers and it has been well received and understood, for the most part. I tell them because I do not want them to think I am purposely missing work but I am out of necessity the days I cannot move or function. One of my bosses didn't take my missing work too well, especially the time I had a bad reaction to the Cymbalta. After careful thought, I advocated for myself and sat down and talked with that supervisor about guilt and how I feel guilty enough missing work without being guilted by this particular person. There have been comments made in the past, some I don't think this person realized the impacts of their words. I can say things have improved for now. I am definitely very proud of myself for self-advocating. It takes confidence and conviction to be able to do something like that. It can change a person. I'm generally humble and honest. I am a health advocate and librarian. The two mix together very well :)

Cheers

FibroWords #HAWMC

Here are two poems I wrote earlier on, as I was learning about my new fangled label:

MONDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2011

Turn the page

Questions, questions and more questions
On the quest for answers
Go to hospitals, leave hurting and confused
What is going on? What is wrong?

Listen closely to my body
Hear where it hurts and what ways
Make a list and hope
Enough talking, here's the list

Waiting for the pain to settle
Heat helps and cold hinders
Sleep my sleepless nights
Work through the fog

Appointments come, answers finally
Blood tests say nothing
Body is still talking
Change of pace, change of meds

Through the answers comes peace
Knowing is half the battle
The other half is managing the answer
Modify my life but not going to stop living

So here I am, knowing what I know
Learning my limits as I go
What this fibromyalgia does to me
I will keep on going within my limits

Listen carefully to my body and mind
It is now more important than ever

Some days I will be exhausted
Some days I will be in pain
Some days I will be in a fog
Some days I will be okay

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2011

Smile

Smile sad eyes
Look around and see the world
Smile broken heart
Anything is possible today

Stand still and listen wide eyed
You have come a long way, babe
Don't give it all up on dreams
The grass is not always greener

Smile foggy thoughts
Listen to the voices inside
Smile tortured soul
Let the warmth of love in

Once wanting much more
But this is not the end
The beginning is beautiful
And never forget the start

Smile stressed body
The light is already here
Smile chained limbs
You are creating darkness

Be comfortable in my own skin
Stop fighting invisible demons
There is peace and comfort here
Keep faith in moderation and confidence

Smile wary obstacles
You are your own doing
Smile certain self
And so mote it be.

A song #HAWMC

To a nice soft melody singer with strong chords inbetween to emphasize the emotional turmoil within the lyrics, within the soul. But there should be a hint of an uplifting cello piece between the 2nd and last sections.

Concentrate

Somedays wishing couldn't feel
Not far from breaking down in tears
They hid behind the eyes
Body tension aims to break you
Nothing can save me
Sit down and relax
What can I do

Strive to find solutions and thrive
Days come and go with no resolve
What can you do with the pain
My body has short circuited
Long ago, it probably started
Pain, pain, pain screams at me
Take more meds, drown in them
Almost did once
But here I am
What can I do

I write in hopes that it helps me
Listen to music I enjoy to relax
Try to focus on work, Try to get stuff done
Try not to feel bad for not walking the dog
Sometimes, I got to put myself first
Otherwise, I will whither away
I can't stop, if I do, I will perish
Get out to exercise class, it helps
Keep on moving forward
Watch the rain
Silently cry
What can I do

Dear 16 year old me #HAWMC

So much I wish I could tell you, to prepare for and deal with. 16 was a precious year before everything went crazy. I was crazy in love, but remember, it doesn't always work out. Enjoy it while it lasts; it'll be a long time before feeling that special feeling again. Take care of yourself. I know life can be a dark place at times and you are right to hope things change after high school. There is hope. Remember to smile and take care of yourself. You are indeed #1 and are as beautiful as everyone says you are. It will make more sense as you find more love for yourself as the light replaces the darkness. Family is important, never take that for granted. Also, be patient and watch that temper. Never lose hope and believe in yourself. You are beautiful, intelligent, and don't be too hard on yourself. Respect your decisions and if something doesn't work out, you are a wonderfully resourceful person who will figure it out.
Live, Laugh, Love, Learn. Forget me not, my love.

Discoveries

It is always fun to make health discoveries. Sitting here yesterday and having a simple conversation with a friend about how I am concerned that I may or may not have a gluten sensitivity or something because I know there is something about what I am eating that is not agreeing with me. Then it hit me, check my allergy tests from 2008/2009. And there it was, the answer: histamine. I have a histamine intolerance. Looking up what that is became an adventure and answered so many questions. For example, I know parmesan is one of my enemies. Now I know it is because of the high histamine content that causes a reaction. Then going through the rest of the list of high histamine foods and foods that cause the body to produce histamine made enough more sense. It was also frustrating. So with this knowledge, I am armed and ready to try a histamine-free diet for a few weeks to see how I feel. Which means I will have to start a food diary. As it is I am not entirely sure were my small to-do and expense books are right now. Do I buy an app for it or do I get another book. Either way, need to add another tool to my toolkit with what information I can find. Oh, yay!

Day 9 of #HAWMC - Keep Calm

Keep calm poster : http://bit.ly/IAIHJO

Day 8 of #HAWMC - Conversation

Feeling really sore today and taking meds to make sure it doesn't completely bring me to tears. Going to relax the next couple of days.
Trying to think of a particular conversation to dialogue in here. I have had many. When working on a project with a friend, it is very easy to blah-blah your way through the work. So I would have to say that the entire weekend has been one good conversation with a friend I do not see terribly often :)

Day 7 of #HAWMC

Freedom to post anything today it seems. Today will not be much. Busy working on a basement project to seal the joints and paint the walls. One thing about working on a very taxing project is to remember to take breaks. I am guilty of pushing and pushing myself. A huge advantage is having a wonderful friend helping. I had enough foresight to ask for help a few weeks ago. I knew this would be a huge undertaking and knew I could not do it alone. For this I am thankful for the help and for acknowledging that I cannot do it all on my own. Pick your battles and figure out if you can battle it alone or need to ask for help from the right people.

Cheers

Day 6 of #HAWMC

Health haiku

Breath clean air in out
Watch the blue skies high above
All is well right now

Day 5 of #HAWMC - Photography and Health

Yesterday I wrote about why I write about my health. In summary, I said because it is cathartic. Today's challenge involves finding a flikr photo but I am choosing to write about one of my other outlets: photography.

I love grabbing my camera and going out for a walk. When I was living in Halifax, I went out on photo excursions a lot more than I do now. My pictures have always focused on nature and my furry family. I love taking pictures of my cats and dog and my friends' and family's pets. Even days when I do not have my camera, I find myself noticing the little details when I am outside: the detail of the clouds, the way a shadow of a tree falls on a building, the crispness of the leaves, the textures of the grass, and more. Because I have sight in only one eye and wear glasses, I never ever want to take for granted all those little details. Same goes for hearing. There is something peaceful about stopping for a moment to just listen. All the little details give more joy to life. Purposely taking those moments give time for you body to rest and just enjoy the moment. I think this is what buddhists mean by "mindfulness". I hadn't really thought of it that way before. I guess I already practice mindfulness in my own little ways. I actually bought a dvd on meditation because I heard it could help relax my body and mind, which I desparately need somedays when the fibro is acting up and even on regular days. Finding those moments of peace is important. Even if it is through a camera lens.

Why I write about my Health

HAWMC Day #4: I write about my health because… Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping. 


I have always written. I can probably find a diary from elementary school with various stuff in it. I have always found writing to be very cathartic. In joining this challenge, I have breached a barrier and decided to go public with this blog. I do keep another for my writings. Some of those writings and peotry do touch on my health but I wrote those before starting this blog and never transferred them over. I have been told I should be a writer with how well I compose my ideas. But, like I said, I grew up writing so it comes natural to me. Much like a conversation that flows through my mind. The audience is no one or whoever finds my blog. Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I have found a bit of peace with myself. I want to continue to be a functioning human being in society. Writing this blog helps me reflect on that and share how I am achieving that goal. Nothing will stop me from figuring it out, to manage it. Being the resourceful person I am, I will seek out whatever I can and share what I find of value. In sharing, I hope it hlps other people. This always gives me a timeline in a sense to see how far I've come and the developments I have made. I can look back and go, "oh, I tried this medication on this date and this is what happened". In addition to writing on here, I always have a notebook on hand to write daily for work related stuff and just mindless writing that keeps me sane. Sanity, there's an important word. The most insane are the most sane sometimes. No idea where I fall into on that scale, but I am me. I am not just blind, I am not just deaf, I am not just fibromyalgia, I am not just Irlen Syndrome, I am not just a librarian... I am me who has these things. That is what I must remember. All these items help form my identity and must never forget them. They can also be my advantage. If I do not want to hear someone, I can turn to my deaf ear. If I do not want to see someone, I can turn a blind eye. Fibromyalgia has meant I listen to my bodily cues much more closely so I can take better care of myself. Being a librarian means I can seek out useful information to share with others. See, just in this short amount of time, I have elaborated on discovers and created more meaning for myself. It is one thing to think these things and another to type them. This is why I write about  my health.

Cheers

WEGO

Hey everyone - I just wanted to tell you about a new activity I'll be doing this April. The Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health. I will be writing a post a day for all 30 days. I hope you'll join me in writing every day about health. It's going to be a lot of fun and I'd love to see what you have to say about each of the topics, too. All you have to do to join is sign up here:http://info.wegohealth.com/HAWMC2012 and you'll be able to start posting once April rolls around. Looking forward to writing with you!

Fibro future at work

Ever wonder at the future to know how things would pan out? I know my passions and strengths. I know my possibilities and wonder at others.

I have the fibro more or less under control right now with the proper sleep supplements. The migraines have been threatening me again and have other pains for which I am using meds to subdue. One more medical mystery to solve and then I can finally move forward. You know when you know something is not right and doctors have not necessarily ignored you, but haven't done anything to figure it out. I go for a root canal in a few weeks from years of grinding my teeth in my sleep. The nightguard has saved the other molars that were on the roster a few years ago for root canals; now it is just the one.

Missing work is less of an issue lately. I work through the pains and fatigue. I get through my days. Looking forward to having more energy to take Jasper, my dog, out for walks and to do more physical activity. Can only do so much though. I have learned to take advantage of the days my body just absolutely gives out and says not to doing much of anything.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a former supervisor to ask her to be a reference. She is an amazing person. Anyway, I mentioned that I have been diagnosed with Fibro and she said that one of her co-workers had it to but had to leave work because of it. It took me a few days for that statement to be processed. I do not want to get to that point where I have to leave work. I have looked up many other sites and blogs about work and fibro to find helpful information. There was one that was a simply amazing little video at http://faithdream.hubpages.com/hub/Fibromyalgia-in-the-Workplace. One common thing that keeps coming up is finding work that is less stressful, reduce the stress in your life. This has been a bit of turning point for me. Made me realize that something MUST change. I am working on that change. In the next week I will be finding out more about a possible change. I am hopeful. My counsellor gave me the homework of writing positive thoughts about this change in the present tense. For example: I am happily working at x place, I am happily living in x city. I fought a little against this because I do not want to get my hopes up to high but it is a good exercise and makes me smile when I write it, therefore I will participate in this little exercise. Positive thinking goes an awful long way. :)

Cheers